"Everything happens for a reason", I am sure we have all heard this phrase before, me included, countless times. Usually voiced by someone who is trying to encourage us, make us feel better about something bad that happened. I remember having this conversation recently with a friend of mine. I was reflecting upon my life, or to be precise rather the most recent few years of it and how much had happened in such a relatively short time span. Major changes have forced me to readjust and adapt my perspective accordingly. I had to face a series of setbacks. But all in all while looking back at the bottom of the ladder I can say that I have overall continued toward a postive upward trend.
I had met my friend inmidst of the beginning of the end of a significant period of my life and looking back I feel bad about having been such a basketcase at the time we met. Well, given the circumstances this may be natural, but still somewhat of an unusual start of a new friendship. He however, pointed out that what matters to him is what has emerged from that, or how I have transformed throughout the years to arrive where I am now.
Especially when we look at massive disasters that affect an entire group of people, we can observe how differently people cope with one and the same scenario. While some mourn the loss and linger on the bottom, others will start to pick up the pieces after the intial shock and get to work. One thought inherent in Buddhist philosophy I always liked, is the notion that nothing is permanent, which is why we should accept and let go. This, I believe helps the one who will let the past rest and put the present to work. Whenever I have my downtimes, like we all do, I try to remind myself of a few key things. First, the assets, what is there that I still have, that I feel strong about, that is worth focusing on instead. Second, I try to accept the past and its consequences, be it good or bad. You will just walk two steps back if you regret having or not having done something, while missing to react to that what you are faced with right now. People have a tendency to either live in the past or the future, while none of the two are attainable.
I often hear the phrase, "I shouldn’t have…" and last time I heard it, I recall saying, "But this can’t be changed. It already happened and we just have to react and deal with the status quo." Same reason why I don’t like apologies or promises, I rather wait for the actions, that what you perceive now, not yesterday or tomorrow.
Also, there is truth in the saying "there is something good in everything bad", you just need to look close enough. If I retrace the succession of events, I realise many things would have never taken place had they not been preceded by something bad. Unexpected chances are often born that way and I am fascinated to see such course of events.
…and in closing the circle, I would have probably missed the opportunity for a great friendship had I not been confronted with an unfortunate situation at that point. And in this aspect there is indeed something good in everything bad:)
