A’s pointless chatter

Cultural differences are attached to great importance, so much so that consultants are sought out to mediate between the enormous gap of dos and don’ts that seem sheer unsurmountably numerous in a culture alien to our own. Mannerisms, characteristics and traditions aside, I believe the most crucial bridge or gap to another person is humor. In my eyes it is one of the key differences between cultures and will often be decisive as to whether we are in or out. If someone tells a joke in a group and one person does not understand the punchline while everyone else is cracking up, the unfortunate individual does not only feel left out, but has indeed missed the connecting moment and ends up being ‘left out’. In terms of culture, humor can vary a lot, in contrast to the rather dry, dark sarcastic British humor as portrayed by Monty Python, I find American humor more overt, often full of sexual innuendos. It’s interesting how one thing may be pissing-your-pants funny to one person and not funny at all to someone else. The importance of the cultural context becomes very clear once we are required to translate a joke into another language and suddenly realize that the punchline is completely lost.
Humor is one of the key characteristics that potential mates are judged by. Whereas women generally prefer a man who is actively humorous and can make them laugh, the male counterparts seek to make a woman laugh and tend to see her as more likeable when she is entertained by his jokes.
Sigmund Freud had already dedicated an entire book titled Jokes and their relationship to the unconscious to the importance of jokes. He saw them as a safe outlet for forbidden thoughts and desires. A way to voice criticism without further (negative) consequences. A theory that seems even more plausible when we think of blond jokes, jokes involving ethnicities, sexual jokes. Presented as a joke they are usually not perceived as offensive; however, the same facts told in an objective and sensible manner will most likely not prompt laughter but rather verbal or physical attacks.
I too have found that one of the key characteristics that I base my judgement on about people is their sense of humor. And in response to the question what I find attractive in the opposite sex, humor would probably rank amongst the top of my list.
But what is the secret of the enigmatic power of humor? Why is it attached to so much importance?
A smile breaks the ice for sure, but it also makes us feel better. When we laugh we generally feel good, the body produces endorphins and once the natural high kicks in and we float on giggly bubbles, we feel refreshed, energized and happy. Humor signals the absence of threat or danger, not that this is always objectively true, but a given situation appears less menacing, less burdening.
People deal differently with each and the same scenario and humor is often a relevant coping mechanism. The situation will not be altered but that what can be changed is how we tackle it and our reactions will set the further course of events.
…anyhow after all that psycho babble something to smile:

Neurotics build castles in the sky.
Psychotics live in them.
Psychiatrists collect the rent.

I finally finished my last touches on "Munich" late last night. By far one of my most compelling assignments. I was repeatedly virtually sucked into the movie and had a hard time pausing to do the required work.
In my eyes Spielberg did an amazing job of portraying the dynamics of violence and retaliation beyond the sheer black and white concept of right or wrong. As the story unfolds, the viewer feels almost torn between the sides, the lines seem to blur and the question of justice cannot be answered in simple terms anymore.
Whether an action is justified or not will always depend on the viewer’s perspective; everyone always justifies their doing, whether someone else will see the just cause as well, is of course debateable.
Another interesting detail, we find in the progressing changes of the human mind, or in this case the protagonists of the movie. Transgressing stages from fear and respect before human lives, beyond ethnicity and political denomination, to automated actions, deprived of humanity for the sheer purpose of meeting an unquestioned objective.
However, in the course of the events our heros experience a gradual transformation, beginning to realize the endless circle they are suddenly trapped in, turning from the hunters into targets themselves.
An interesting quote at the end of the movie mirrors the change within our main protagonist. He questions the accomplishments of the mission, pointing out that each man that they had killed had been replaced by worse. He now sees that there is no end to this and his victory comes with a bitter aftertaste.
Bloodshed and killing can hardly ever be seen objectively from one angle only, there will always be someone on each side strongly believing in their subjectively valid arguments. Who is to decide which ones merit more justification? The director’s empathic attempt of transporting this message across through emotions and skilled cinematography becomes even more impressive to me when one considers his own, personal ethnic and historic background.
Nameless violence that we follow day in day out on the news is given here a human face. In subtle scenes, such as the little Palestinian girl playing the piano and smiling innocently at her father’s future assasin, or Avner’s, the main protagonist’s little baby girl uttering her first words into his ear over the phone. The little girl, his flesh and blood, that he has not held anymore since the day she was born. The dichotomy of giving and taking life.
Few movies venture to take a deeper look beyond the obvious, beyond right or wrong, just or unjust, and simply portray the human being in categories instead of as a whole, with his downfalls, weaknesses, sensitivity, compassion, but also his capacity to hurt, or even take lives…but this one certainly does.

The following story is not my own invention, but it is a nice tale that I read in a Zen book my friend Cort brought along one day. I am not sure what prompted him to, but he told me I have to promise to read the book, at least a few pages a day…. I was curious and I did, and I am happy he gave it to me back then, as especially the following story has helped me along the way. It does not impart any secret wisdom, just some very basic and simple life rules that are almost a given and we yet forget to follow… But we have friends who happen to remind us along the way.

An emperor embarks on his search for three essential answers.
What is the right time for each thing to be done? Who is the most important person at any
given time? What is the most important thing at all times?
He sets out to visit a hermit in the woods. He finally meets the wise man and poses the above questions, but the man remains silent and continues to pursue his task, namely digging a hole in the ground.
Eventually, the emperor feels pity with the old man and decides to give him a hand and takes over.
Suddenly, a man shows up, bleeding profusely from a wound.
The emperor attends to his wound, as the man collapses before him. Once he regains onsciousness, he is filled with gratitude and asks for forgiveness, for he is an enemy of the emperor who had come to kill
him on his way back home from his quest in the woods. But since the emperor had failed to show up, he had started to walk back and was met by the emperor’s guards who recognized him and inflicted this wound upon him.
The emperor is happy to be still alive, and reconciles with his former enemy.

Later, he asks the hermit again about the answers and the man replies.
“But you have long gotten the answers…First, the most important task was helping me digging that hole, as that saved your life. Had you returned back home earlier, you would have been met and stabbed by your enemy. In that instance I was the most important person and the pursuit was to help me.
Later, when you attended to the wound of the injured man, that was your most
important task, as otherwise he would have died and you would have never had a chance to reconcile with your former enemy. Back then, he was the most important person and the pursuit was helping him.

Therefore, the most important time for anything is the present
moment, because that is the only time we have dominion over. The most important person is the one you are with, as you never know if you will have another chance to be with them again. And the most important aim is to help others, as that is the pursuit of life.”